Control

In the field of psychology a persons belief in their degree of control is known as their ‘locus of control’. Whether an individual believes they can control events internally or events are controlled externally has been thought to be based upon child hood experiences and personality traits.

However, I do not believe the situation is so clear cut.

Control is something that many of us like to have, strive to have even, though it is often completely illusory.

As events of the past 2 years or so have taught us, we have little to no control over so many things. We didn’t choose to experience a world wide pandemic. We don’t choose to fall ill, or get older. We don’t choose so many of the events that happen in our lives. We don’t even choose our thoughts. We don’t choose our genetic makeup, we didn’t choose our environment as children or adolescents. Indeed, aren’t we arguably all just a product of our experiences that are formed from our environment impacting upon our genetic makeup?

And yet so many of us spend so much time “What if-ing”, trying to gauge every possible outcome to a situation (with myriad variables) so that we can be prepared for it and control it.

But we can’t control it.

We can’t control other people, nor their reactions or perceptions of things or ourselves. That will depend upon their subconscious, past experiences and conscious reactions. Hence why different people can give so many different opinions of the same events. We can’t control world events, mass pandemics, rises in energy bills etc etc. The list goes on and on.

But what we CAN control is the breath.

And through control of the breath we can find a deeper awareness and control of our reactions to things.

HERE LIES OUR POWER

Here we can have our control.

Control in our choice of how to act/react in and to any given situation.

And for that, we are responsible.

Do make plans, do have goals. Do realise that these may be impacted by forces beyond your control. Do breathe. Do choose your actions from a place of calm and do respond accordingly.

Apply a healthy balance of internal and external control.

Ps – Try not to judge yourself if you do find yourself “what if-ing”, just acknowledge your concern without judgment and remind yourself of what is within and outside of your control.

And breathe.